Baby Shower in the Biergarten

Best. Baby. Shower. Ever. I highly recommend having a baby shower in a bar. (Notice the real-life, in-use baby bottles on the table):

Saladin and I had our baby shower this past Saturday.  My good friends Michelle, Jacki, and Lois organized everything for us (thank you, thank you, thank you!!!!). Unfortunately,  Lois lives in DC and was snowed in by midday Friday so she didn’t make it in the end.  We were worried that the weather would keep everyone away in NY but we actually got very little snow. 

We really didn't want to have the typical shower where only women are invited,  the mom-to-be sits in a white wicker chair and you make a big production about opening the gifts and then you put the ribbons and bows on a plate or something that the pregnant woman has to eventually wear on her head.

We had the shower in a local beer garden called Der Schwarze Kolner Biergarten ,owned by a Black man who was born in Britain and raised in Germany, from  what I hear.  I think the name translates into Black Owl.  It's only a few blocks away from our apartment.  Anyway, the folks there were great, so accommodating and cool about the fact that we took over more than half of their space.  

The shower was co-ed, casual, and just so much fun (for me anyway).  I saw lots of people I haven’t seen in a while and a couple of folks showed up unexpectedly, such a wonderful surprise.

Our buffet was very West Indian. A Jamaican caterer named Otis put it together.  People raved about the food. We had rasta pasta (well,that's fake West Indian), rice and peas, veggies, baked chicken, jerk chicken, mini Jamaican beef and veggie patties, and cupcakes (chocolate, vanilla, and red velvet). By the way, I am not Jamaican, in case you were wondering.  My family is from Guyana, South America.

Me, Michelle (co-hostess who I've known since college), Tiffany, and Cathy,who completely surprised me by showing up.  She had been living in Australia until last week. NOTE:  Check out my blog post from January 23.  There's a photo of me wearing the same dress just a couple of  weeks ago.  My belly is expanding exponentially:

Dana and Senaka, who came from Philly through heavy snow:

  Jacki (co-hostess) holding Dana's baby, Elie, and Dana's husband, Tal,  to right and Luann to the left:

 Saladin in motion:

 Saladin's aunt, Sarah:

 Nora (a talented novelist in Saladin's writing group), Michelle, and Jacki:

Justin, another writer friend who is moving to Korea in a week, and Saladin:

Justin, Saladin, Elliot (Sarah's husband) and Karim (my friend from church and choir):

Tal and Elie:

 David (co-worker), Bruce (my "boss"), Tom, and Tom's wife, Rachel (another colleague):

A view of the room:

 Eugene from Saladin's writing group:

Me and Jacki: (a fabulous friend I met through church about five years ago):

 Baby shower games.  They were hard!  We had to unscramble words in one and in another, name baby animals.  A baby swan is a cygnet, a baby kangaroo is a joey, and I still don't know what a baby beaver is called.

Jennifer, a former co-worker of mine, working on one of the baby shower games:

Luann. who I've known since high school:

Sarah and Elliot's son (and Saladin's cousin), Akiva, trying to talk me into giving him more toys:

Nancy and her daughter, Caroline:

Nicole, a co-worker:

 Sam (who kept making faces when I tried to take the photo) and his brother, Akiva, who is raising the roof :

Luann, Jacki, Senaka, me, Obitse, and Michelle:

Unfortunately, the batteries in my camera died so there were a number of people I didn't get on camera. I think that everyone appreciated that it was  more a regular party than a frou-frou shower.  I was thrilled with the whole thing but more than anything else, I felt grateful that our kids will have all these wonderful people in their lives.

Video Q&A with Saladin; Walk a mile in my shoes (a rant from the shallow side)

And now, what you've all been waiting for: video Q&A with Saladin! We recently bought a Flip camcorder and it is awesome! So small and easy to use. We figured that there would be a lot more photos and videos in our lives once the babies arrive so it is a great investment. Let's get up close and personal with our guy, Sal.

(It's probably a good idea to start the video and then pause for a minute to let it buffer so it won't stop in the middle).





The second part of this post is a rant. I know that it is very common for a pregnant woman's feet to swell but who knew it could be so dramatic and costly? I have gone from wearing shoe size 8 medium to 10 wide. I am somewhat comforted by the fact that the new 10 wides I recently bought are some fancy European brand that run small but I had to go bigger because the size 9 medium boots I was forced to buy became too difficult to put on. In the past few months, I have purchased 4 pairs of boots and I am quite resentful about it.

My new boots, which I bought in brown and black from Zappos.com, are ugly:


Well, they're ugly on me. Maybe if I was a 5'10" Swedish woman named Malin who designs websites and jewelry, lives in an airy loft, swears by vegan diet, and wears skinny jeans by Rock & Republic, they would look cool on me. In reality, I'm 5'2, weigh over 180 lbs, and wear full-panel maternity jeans from Target and Old Navy.



I actually own this pair. My jeans don't even have a zipper at the fly. They're like toddler pull-ups.

Anyway, to say the boots are not flattering is an understatement. Can you imagine the jeans and boots together? Beyond dowdy. Yet, the boots are eminently practical. Flat for comfortable trekking and very easy to take on and off.

Now people are telling me that my feet may never return to their original size! This is disturbing, to say the least. What's going to happen with all my old shoes? Let me tell you, I'm a woman who LOVES boots and I have a lot of them. Most of what I have are knee high with some sort of heel and I work them all fall and winter. I've got some red boots with gold buckles on the side and 3-inch heels. I have a pair of suede olive green slouchy boots covered in gold studs with a wedge heel (I had to hold them up with tape for the photo because they slouch so wonderfully).




Fabulousness!! Will I have to give them away? Throw them out?

It hardly seems fair. After all the aches and pains and the emotional ups and downs, the least that nature could do is allow me go back to a size 8 and footwear that is familiar after these kids are born. We'll see. It's not a done deal and maybe I'll get lucky. If not, these babies better be really cute and lovable. At least I'll be distracted from my loss.

Babies back on track and booking a baby nurse

We got some good news today. I went in today for an ultrasound at Roosevelt Hospital in Manhattan, where we plan to deliver. It's on the West side, a couple of blocks away from Columbus Circle and Central Park.


I've had two surgeries at Roosevelt and had a brief stay there in November when we were dealing with pregnancy complications. Most of my experiences there have been good and they are known for having a great Labor & Delivery department. In fact, they perform the most deliveries in Manhattan with 6,500 births a year. They also save more lives in their NICU than any other in the city.

At my last ultrasound two weeks ago, I freaked out because they estimated Malcolm's weight at 1 lb, 10 oz while Naima was 1 lb, 6 oz. Before then, they had only been about an ounce apart. Now, the 4 oz difference wasn't terrible but I was asked to return for a two-week follow-up in order to closely monitor their growth . There is a condition called intrauterine growth restriction in which one fetus receives a disproportionate share of nutrients. In the worst case scenario, if one fetus keeps lagging behind the other in growth, it will become necessary to deliver both babies to give the smaller one the best chance for a healthy outcome and survival.

My twins book by Dr. Barbara Luke (which always scares me into doing the right thing) says that if one baby starts to lag behind, pay careful attention to your diet. In the beginning of the pregnancy, I was very attentive to diet and gained 25 lbs by week 20, just like the book recommended. Now, this was a lot harder than it sounds because food was (and is) not particularly appealing. Really, I rarely look forward to eating and I don't get the same pleasure out of it that I used to. After gaining the initial 25 lbs, I slacked off a little.

Once we learned that Naima was a bit smaller, I started chowing down again. I eat some meat every day and just eat more protein in general. Almost daily, I make a high-protein smoothie with soft tofu, pasteurized egg whites, yogurt, fruit, and milk. I also drink 1-2 Ensure chocolate and vanilla nutrition shakes each day (it's like dessert!). I probably still don't eat enough fruit and vegetables but I'm working on it.

Well, I like to think it paid off because we found out today that Malcolm is 2 lbs, 3 oz and Naima is hanging tough at 2 lbs, 2 oz. We were also surprised to find out how long they are. Malcolm's head is on the right side of my abdomen and his behind is all the way on the left. I was wondering why I feel them moving all over the place and now it makes sense. They've got a lot of reach.

I'm so happy that Naima is keeping up and both of them are growing beautifully.

On a different note, we booked a baby nurse! I had never even heard the term baby nurse before a couple of months ago. In fact, baby nurses are not true nurses at all but more like infant care specialists. After a baby is born, a family will hire a baby nurse to stay with them up to 24 hours a day to help care for the newborn. A baby nurse also gives the parents a chance to catch up on sleep. I have to say, that kind of rubbed me the wrong way at first. I mean, isn't sleep deprivation supposed to be a rite of passage in parenthood? To quote a friend of mine, it just sounded like another luxury that wealthy Upper East Side moms try to justify, 'cause let me tell you, baby nurses ain't cheap.

I started becoming a convert when I really thought about what it would be like to take care of twin babies while recovering from major surgery. One baby and surgery, maybe. Two babies and no surgery, maybe. All together, too much. I received a recommendation from my friend, Dana, who adores her baby nurse. Dana, by the way, was actually featured on a reality television show called, "Platinum Babies." Seriously. It's a spin-off of the show, "Platinum Weddings." Take a look:

http://www.nydailynews.com/lifestyle/2009/11/28/2009-11-28_meet_new_yorks_25000_baby_elie_sloan_litvan_stars_in_platinum_babies.html

The same network also has a show called, "Rich Bride, Poor Bride." I once said that if Dana is featured on Platinum Babies, I'd be featured on Tin Cup Babies. Ha! But don't judge and don't hate. The show definitely included some exaggeration and Dana is great. In any case, we met with her baby nurse, Helen, on Monday and now Helen will be helping us during 12-hour day shifts for two weeks after the babies and I come home from the hospital. She is the grandmother of twins herself and has taken care of dozens and dozens of babies. She was on it and started walking around apartment, figuring out where the babies would take their naps and where she would give them baths. It is such a relief to have that handled. I'm sure we'll have much more to share about Helen later on.

Temporary release from Saladin's house arrest

If Saladin had his way, he would have me on full bedrest and I would only get up to use the bathroom. My doctor has not restricted my activity at all but every time I try go out, Saladin starts in, fussing about how long I'll be out, will I be driving or doing a lot of walking, how many different things will I being doing while I'm out...He has developed his own rule that I should leave the house only once every two days. For instance, he thinks I should only go to a movie today if I don't plan to do anything tomorrow.

You're not the boss of me, Saladin.

Granted, I get fatigued very easily and fatigue sets off symptoms that are not good for me or the babies. And yes, I've had a few problems in the past that resulted in visits to Labor & Delivery and the emergency room. To be fair,I've limited my own activity significantly and work mostly from home. The plus side to all this is that Saladin does about 99% of the housework and doesn't complain. If I drop something, he picks it up so I don't have to bend down (which is very hard for me to do at this point). He helps me put on my boots and sometimes even my socks. He is always bringing me food and drink and making sure that I'm comfortable and bringing me pillows. I figure this treatment is once-in-a-lifetime so I try to enjoy it. Other times, I start feeling really isolated and a little frustrated that I can't be out and about.

So, you can imagine how thrilled I was to go to a wedding today. Saladin tried to say we shouldn't go at the last minute but I fought him like a man. I was determined to put on the new maternity dress I bought on sale and actually be in a social situation. His friend Sara was getting married only 10 minutes away by car! It was not some long trek. Well, we made it there. The ceremony was super-short (great because I hate long weddings) and held in this very lovely art space called Galapagos in DUMBO, Brooklyn.


This is not Sara's wedding but an image to give you an idea of what weddings there look like. Not sure if you can tell but the tables are surrounded by candle-filled water.

Here is a pic of me and Saladin at the wedding:


Don't I looked excited to be there? I got to see old friends, meet new people, and just be normal for a little while which is a big deal because these days, I don't feel very normal. We ended up leaving after only a couple of hours because, frankly, I was exhausted. I could have fallen asleep right at our table. Other moms of twins I know say that all they wanted to do was sleep by their third trimester. I have this book called, "When You're Expecting Twins, Triplets, and Quads" and it's hardcore, recommending that at 24 weeks, women pregnant with multiples should get 6 hours of rest each day. At first, I thought this was absurd. I mean, that's pretty much the entire workday. However, that's starting to seem more than reasonable to me.

As a matter of fact, I'm going to take nap right now.

Welcome!

Hello everyone,

I decided to create this blog so that family and friends who are not nearby can be updated regularly on our preparations for the twins, the birth, and their first few weeks. I will try to post 2-3 times a week.

I'm now at 26 weeks, 4 days and we're expecting to give birth around April 5th (37 weeks). Only 10 weeks away! Here are some early ultrasound pictures of the future Miss Naima Octavia Ahmed and Master Malcolm Ismael Ahmed.

Naima in Week 16 (sleeping):



Naima in Week 21 (resting again):


Naima in Week 24 (she was moving during this one but you can't tell here):



Malcolm in Week 16 (see how different his profile is from Naima's):


Malcolm in Week 21 (legs in the air):



Malcolm in Week 24 (yes, those are his legs over his body, like a yoga pose):